The Choosy Beggar

The average guy learns at a young age to take a punch (in the arm, at least); to stand fast in the face of competition; to stomach the site of a little blood.

Shopping, however, leaves many of us at a loss for wits. The little experience we do have often takes the shape of nightmarish trips with a doting mom or impatient dad to cold department-store changing-rooms where we were forced to strip down under florescent lights and try on ill-fitting clothes in foreign fabrics like polyester and corduroy.

As we realized today, the melee that is Barneys Warehouse Sale can reduce even the most seasoned shopper to that exposed child, lost and anxious among the mountains of seemingly indistinguishable suits, jackets, coats, shirts, and sweaters.

Nothing fit, everything looked like shit, the pricing schemes were a mystery, and the only jacket that felt just right, from Lanvin, was still priced at well over $1,000.

The solution? Go back to the basics, i.e., The Beggar’s Barneys Warehouse Sale Rules:

• Go with a list of items you need for the coming season, and stay focused.

• Know your measurements beforehand, and stick to your assigned sections.

• Bring someone to offer second opinions, ***but make sure they know how a piece of clothing should fit.*** Too many wives and mothers were seen giving bad advice at the sale on Thursday.

• Know how a suit should fit —

We suspect Ryan over at h(y)r collective isn’t the only guy in the market for a quality Mackintosh raincoat.

And while he seems to have resigned himself to paying $800 at J. Crew(!), New Yorker’s are fortunately flush with alternatives. You could always hit the clearance racks at the BARNEYS WAREHOUSE SALE or Century 21, but for a less taxing experience try the Jack Spade store where, right now, you’ll find Mackintosh’s in dark brown and olive/gray at 50% off for under $350:

Jack Spade – 56 Greene St nr Broome – 212-625-1820 – Map

Opening day at the Barneys Warehouse Sale is going off without a hitch, with modest crowds, ample staff, and miles of suits, jackets, shirts, outerwear, knits, and shoes. Judging by the temperate mood, we’re expecting to see some serious market-downs in the coming days, but dawdle at your own risk.

Open For Business:

• Thurs-Fri August 14-15, 8am-9pm
• Mon-Fri August 16-29, 10am-9pm
• Sat-Sun August 30-31, 10am-7pm
• Monday, September 1, 10am-7pm

Barneys Warehouse Sale – 255 West 17th Street between 7th & 8th – 212-450-8400 – Map

At 12 noon today, if for some reason you’re not at the Barneys Warehouse Sale — and there are really very few, if any, legitimate excuses for that — we highly recommend checking out Gilt.com’s Loomstate sample sale. The Beggar has your invite to the members only site HERE.

Launched in New York City in 2004 by designers Rogan Gregory and Scott Hahn, Loomstate has somehow succeeded in making “green” fashion aesthetically pleasing:

The addiction specialists over at Details have developed a simple-yet-spot on multiple-choice Q&A to determine whether you, ours dear readers, might perhaps have a little “issue” with shopping.

For one…

Before you go shopping you are always sure to call:

A. A female friend to come along for advice

B. Your girlfriend to see if she needs anything

C. Stefano at Armani to let him know you’re on your way

D. AmEx to make sure they’ve upped your credit limit

… Whatever the results, just know that The Beggar is by your side.